That is not a style choice — it’s the whole philosophy. Growth doesn’t happen in spaces where everything you already believe gets rubber-stamped by a professional.
The men who work with me are not here because someone dragged them in. They came on their own. They already know something is off. They’re ready to understand it. That self-selection matters. It is why the work actually produces change.
I didn’t just study this in a classroom — I know what it feels like to be functional in basically every area of life and still lose myself around the most difficult people and in the toughest situations. So I began doing my own family-of-origin work with a Bowen coach, and it changed everything for me. That’s the whole reason Vita Magna exists.
If you’re looking to be challenged by someone who’s squarely in your corner, this is it. I won’t blow smoke, and I won’t unconditionally validate you. I won’t tell you your family is to blame for all your problems, or that cutting off from them is true freedom. What I will do is tell you exactly what I see and where I stand — and help you see your family system clearly enough to become someone different inside it.
Vita Magna is Latin for Great Life. I did not choose that name just because it sounds cool (although it certainly does). I chose it because it is what I actually believe this work produces. Not a polished version of the same man but a much greater, larger-hearted one. A magnanimous man who can lead his family the way he believes he should because he understands himself enough and his place in life to do it.
For over a decade, I served faithfully in Catholic campus ministry. I attended the retreats, did the “healing work,” and saw several therapists. By all accounts, I was psychologically and emotionally “mature.”
Then, I encountered the work of Dr. Murray Bowen.
Bowen proposed a challenging truth: You are only as mature as you are able to be yourself in your family of origin. It sounds simple, but simple ain’t always easy. What man can really be himself around these difficult humans we call family? Without dogmatically asserting himself on them, or passively giving himself up to them, or just plain high-tailing it, getting out of Dodge?
I realized that conventional therapy, focused on emoting, validating, and diagnosing, never pushed me to work on myself in the relationships where it was hardest. Gold is forged in the crucible, after all. So I resolved to stop writing off my family and started re-engaging them in a new way––a “differentiated” way. And it has forever changed both my trajectory and the future legacy of my family.
This is the why behind Vita Magna.
I work with Catholic and Christian men in leadership who are ready to overcome their “stuck places” by working them out in the place of their first formation, their family of origin. I am not here to validate that your family is toxic or that your father is a narcissist. I am here to empower you to see the whole system, understand your place in it, and become the kind of man who risks doing something about it.
Now that is a great man. And that is a great life.
Live a great life. Lead it with a big soul.
The work is hard. The right clients do it anyway.
Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) isn’t just a therapy technique. It’s a robust theory of human behavior grounded in evolutionary biology, developed by the psychiatrist Dr. Murray Bowen in the 1960s. Unlike much of modern psychology, Dr. Bowen recognized that you can’t understand an individual apart from his family of origin. Rather than fixating on symptoms or “problem people,” his groundbreaking work invites you to appreciate the complexity of a group of humans doing their best to make it from one generation to the next. This is the framework behind Vita Magna.
How tension between two people can easily spill over into a third party.
The distance you keep from difficult family members and why it actually isn’t real freedom.
How the same anxiety-driven processes that shape families play out in society at large — and how anxious times press on every family living through them.
How levels of psychological and emotional maturity are passed down and distributed across generations — and how your level was shaped long before you arrived.
Not one of Bowen’s eight concepts — but rather, how we put them to work. You’re the man on the field. Like a good coach, I have a more objective view from the sideline, but my role is to equip you to play the game of your own life.
Generally, I work with Catholic and Christian male leaders in their 20s and 30s. My primary focus is men who are growth-oriented, have tried conventional therapy before, and are ready for an ownership-based approach. Non-religious men who share that same orientation toward growth and ownership will fit right in here, too. And while the practice is built for men, women interested in this family-of-origin work are welcome to reach out.
It's a direct 15-minute conversation. I'll ask for a high-level view of the challenges you're facing and what you're hoping would change by working together. No intake paperwork. No dotted line. Just a talk to see if working together is a good fit.
Yes. The best way to find out whether there's availability that fits your schedule is to book a free 15-minute inquiry call — which also lets us both figure out whether this work is a fit before either of us commits.
Fill out the form and tell me (briefly) what you’re up against. I read every inquiry personally and I’ll be in touch to schedule a free 15-minute inquiry call — no intake paperwork, no dotted line, just a direct conversation to see whether this work is a fit.
